Posted by: Kimberly Dredger | August 11, 2010

August 10th

Yesterday I had the great pleasure of having two of my nephews, Myk and Josh and my niece-in-law, Rae over to the house for an evening of pizza and talk.  This was great fun for Jim and me, and I think the “young folks” enjoyed it, too, but none of the people in my house last night were thinking of the same things I was… because I was remembering the night exactly 25 years earlier, when my twin nephews were little guys.  How could I remember EXACTLY what I was doing 25 years ago?  Because it was my wedding day. Here is a copy of two paragraphs from the “About Me” page, so you don’t have to go back and find it:

“As you will see in my first post, my first husband was killed two years, one month and sixteen days after we were married.  I may write a post about that some day, or perhaps not; but again, I am who I am, in large part because of that experience.

But, because of some strong pulling of strings in heaven, (yes I do believe that,) four years after my first husband died, I married the most wonderful man in the world, which I guess makes me the luckiest woman in the world.  My husband is very supportive of this crazy project, and knows that I am a happier girl if I have something to work towards.  I will probably be writing about him, in future posts, as well, since not much happens in this life that doesn’t involve him.”

I am so very blessed to be married to the most wonderful man in the world. And I am also so very blessed to have been married to another wonderful guy.  Next month, I will write about the end of that marriage, but today I want to write just a little about the beginning.  I know that Jim won’t mind, because HE knows that I am who I am in large part because of my past.  He has dealt with me dealing with my past many times. Grief, as is life, is a process.  It isn’t a once and done kind of a deal.  It goes on and on, and comes back at odd moments.  I wasn’t grieving yesterday, but I was remembering.

It is appropriate that yesterday we had one hell of a thunderstorm.  Now, you know me well enough to know that I don’t use that word lightly.  Hell, I mean.  I use it here because it was a thunderstorm that began my own personal hell on earth, but that is another story which you will hear about in September.  But last evening, as my sweet husband and lovely niece and wonderful adult nephews and I were enjoying our pizza, the heavens broke loose and the windows rattled, and I remembered.

August 10, 1985 was also a very rainy and cold day.  But hearts were very light and full of joy for the Ellen Clan and the Rogers Clan.  The wedding was held at First Baptist Church in Missoula, and the reception was at a nearby hotel.  Well into the reception, we kind of lost track of the twins, the same twins who sat in my house last night.  Then we heard some giggling behind the curtains, and voila!  There they were….  we found out later that these adorable little blond guys had just hidden a bottle of champagne to save it for the bride and groom to share in private later on.  Funny and cute.  I suppose I’m the only one now who remembers that. 

Twenty-five years ago I married the man I thought would be my husband for the rest of my life… turns out it was only for the rest of his life, all too short.  Many people who were there with Jimmy (yes, his name was also Jim) and me that day, are gone now… his mother and grandparents, my wonderful father, Grace and Earl, many friends. And of course, the groom himself.  

Life is fragile, my friends.  Losing is a part of loving is a part of losing.  And we wouldn’t do without the loving, so we can’t do without the losing.  And every single time I hear geese fly overhead or hear thunder roll, I remember.

Go Forward, my friends. Go Forward.

8/8 – 12 miles on the Airdyne
8/9 – 17 miles
8/10 – 5 miles, with speed intervals

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Responses

  1. Like the story as well as the mile intervales. Stay focused and Go Forward.

    Loving, loosing and finding again…just part of the circle we call life.

    Thanks Kimberly.
    B~


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