Posted by: Kimberly Dredger | July 26, 2010

Living to learn

I have always been of the school that thinks “Things happen the way they do for a reason.”  While one COULD use this philosophy to totally give up and not take responsibility for anything, I hope I never fall quite that far into fatalism.  Instead, I’d like to take the bad things that happen and learn from them.

Today is Day Three of wearing this boot full-time.  My first goal was to try to handle it in a way that it didn’t throw off my stride, as I REALLY do not want to end up with other injuries simply due to the fact that I have the wear this dad-burn thing.  Most of the time, I am successful in my attempt to walk well.  In fact, we walked all the way into the restaurant on Saturday with our friends and sat down, and they still didn’t know I was wearing it until I pointed it out to them.  Good.  But I do feel some tiredness in my hip and thigh from it, so there is more work to do.

My second goal in wearing this boot is to figure out how to continue increasing my level of fitness and weight loss so that I don’t lose the next six weeks of training.  Jim moved the Airdyne to the patio for me, and it and I will have a daily date… and I am trying to imagine yoga and Pilates and Nia while wearing the boot.   Possible?  Yes.  I just have to get past this clipped wing feeling.  

My third goal in wearing this boot is to learn something from the whole process.  I feel as if my foot has been encased in concrete and I carry the block around with me.  I reread Walking Papers by Francesco Clark.  I think about Christopher Reeve and his injury.  I remember my inspiration, Bob Heinle, and his injury.  I try to put myself into the shoes of my new friend Bernadette.  I wear my boot while I’m not in bed and I will wear it for six weeks.  I worry about losing strength and tone and ability.  Oh, my heavenly days.  

Tears come to my eyes as I write.  My hands tremble.  I am so truly blessed and I belly ache.  I crab.  I whine.  WHAT IF MY INJURY WERE IN MY NECK?  WHAT IF I KNEW I COULD NEVER MOVE MY HANDS AGAIN, TO STROKE MY HUSBAND’S CHEEK, PET MY CAT, DIG IN MY GARDEN?  WHAT IF I NEEDED HELP EACH TIME I WANTED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?  WHAT IF I, WHO VALUE MY PRIVACY AND QUIET TIMES SO VERY MUCH, WHAT IF THERE HAD TO BE ALWAYS SOMEONE WITHIN EAR-SHOT, TO HEAR IF I STOPPED BREATHING?

These are the things my new friends deal with all the time.  These are the things the Christopher Reeve Foundation is working tirelessly for which to find a cure.  These are the things that may someday be a thing of the past.  May God make it so.

I think I’ll take my boot out to my Airdyne and go for a ride.  The New York Marathon awaits.  I don’t have any time to waste in whining.  Money needs to be raised so that a cure can be found.

God Speed us all.

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Responses

  1. Go for it, and no regrets!

  2. Kimberely: We all manage to accomplish things that we once thought were impossible. Go back to your first blog in March–you surpassed what you thought might be impossible. One step at a time. Stay focused on the end goal and the 6 weeks will be gone before you realize it.

    Oh, and BTW, you are not whining, you are venting–it is allowed amongst friends.
    B~


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